From the book I Will Not Be Broken by Jerry white.
Some people stay victims which is a type of defense mechanism that follows trauma. Sympathy is welcomed at time of need but some people continue to invite that sympathy because it is comfortable. Every survivor eventually has to take responsibility for his/her life and break this habit of victimhood.
Saying things like “if only I return back to the past to make this right” or “if I didn’t drive the car on that time”, if only so and so hadn’t happen and so on will not change anything and will keep you attached to thoughts that will pull you in the darkness of the past. People who can’t let go of their Victimhood will not be able to think positively, take positive actions or relate in a healthy way to others. They will not participate in daily life in an effective way.
You have to make choices to nourish the survivor in you and others. Finding your inner thriver and ignoring your inner victim. By tracing how you think and speak, you can climb out of victimhood. Try to do things that you like such as listening to your favorite songs, donating money to charities, volunteering charity work or other things that work best for you which will help you to find your thrive within you.